The Empty Chair: Figuring Out Life After Mom’s Gone
Losing your mom? Man, it’s like someone turned off the sun. Everything gets a little dimmer, you know? It’s weird, because one minute she’s there, nagging you about calling more, and the next, poof, just an empty chair. It’s a mess of feelings, like someone mixed up all the crayons and threw them at you. No map for this one, but we gotta find our way, right? Let’s try and make sense of this whole crazy thing.
Right away, it’s like you’re in a movie, but a really sad one. Everything feels fuzzy, like you’re watching it through a fishbowl. It’s okay to feel totally lost. Don’t try to be a superhero. Some days, just getting out of bed is a win. Let the tears come, let the weird feelings happen. No one’s grading you on how well you’re grieving.
Then comes the stuff you never wanted to deal with: funerals, papers, all that. It’s like adulting on hard mode. Don’t be afraid to ask for backup. Your friends, your family, even that weird cousin you only see at weddings—they’re there. Let them help, even if it’s just grabbing you a coffee.
And remember, there’s no “right” way to feel. You’ll have days where you’re laughing, and then bam, you’re crying into a pillow. That’s just how it goes. If it gets too heavy, talking to someone helps. A therapist, a buddy, even your dog—just get it out.
Crazy Feelings: Making Sense of the Emotional Rollercoaster
What’s Going On Inside My Head?
Those “stages of grief” they talk about? Yeah, they’re more like suggestions. You might bounce around, skip a few, or invent your own. One minute you’re mad at her for leaving, the next you’re bargaining with the universe to bring her back. It’s a wild ride. Don’t try to control it; just hang on.
Let those feelings out, man. Crying? Go for it. Yelling at a pillow? Why not? Keeping it all bottled up is like shaking a soda can—it’s gonna explode eventually. Find something that works: writing, painting, screaming into the void. Just get it out.
Your body might start acting weird too. Tired all the time? Can’t eat? Eating way too much? It’s all part of the package. Take care of yourself, even if it’s just forcing down a sandwich or taking a nap. If it doesn’t get better, see a doctor. Seriously.
And listen, your relationship with your mom was your own. Some are easy, some are…complicated. It’s okay to mourn whatever you lost, good or bad. Just be real with yourself.
The Paper Trail: Dealing With All That Stuff
Sorting Out the Mess
Okay, so now you have a pile of paperwork that looks like it’s trying to take over your kitchen. Get those death certificates—you’ll need them for everything. Find her will, insurance stuff, bank papers. It’s a drag, but it’s gotta be done.
If she had someone in charge of her stuff, great. If not, you might need a lawyer. They’ll help you figure out who gets what and how to make it legal. It’s a long process, so don’t expect it to be over next week.
Call the banks, the insurance people, anyone she had accounts with. Cancel subscriptions, close accounts, all that. Secure her place, make sure her stuff is safe. Maybe get someone to help you go through it all; it’s easier with a buddy.
Don’t be a lone wolf here. Ask for help. Seriously. Your friends, your family, even a professional—let them take some of the weight. You’ve got enough on your plate.
People Power: Finding Your Tribe
You’re Not Alone in This
This whole thing can make you feel like you’re on a deserted island. But you’re not. Find people who get it. Support groups, friends who’ve been there, anyone who won’t just pat you on the back and tell you to “get over it.”
Call your friends, call your family. Even if you just sit in silence, it’s better than being alone. Let them be there for you. It’s okay to need people.
Talking to a therapist isn’t just for “crazy people,” you know. They can give you tools to deal with all this mess. It’s like having a coach for your emotions.
Help comes in all shapes and sizes. A friend, a family member, a pro—find what works for you. Don’t be too proud to ask.
Keeping Her Close: Remembering Mom
Making Her Memory Last
Make a scrapbook, a photo album, something to remember her by. Tell stories about her, keep her alive in your memories. Maybe plant a tree, or cook her favorite meal. Little things like that can make a big difference.
Keep doing the things she loved. Her traditions, her favorite spots, her favorite shows—whatever it is, keep it going. It’s like she’s still there with you.
Try to live like she’d want you to. Be kind, be brave, be you. Do the things she taught you, the things she believed in. It’s a way of honoring her.
Grief is a marathon, not a sprint. You’ll have good days and bad days. That’s okay. Your mom will always be a part of you, and remembering her is a way of keeping her close.
Real Talk: Questions People Ask
Answers to Stuff You’re Wondering
Q: How long until I feel normal again?
A: There’s no “normal” here. Everyone’s different. It takes time, maybe a long time. Just go easy on yourself.
Q: Is it okay to be mad at her?
A: Yeah, totally. It’s part of it. Don’t beat yourself up about it.
Q: How do I help a friend who lost their mom?
A: Just be there. Listen, bring them food, don’t try to fix anything. Just be a friend.
Q: When should I see a therapist?
A: If you’re struggling, if you can’t sleep, if you feel like you’re drowning—go see someone. It’s okay to ask for help.